FaShItShO tha PoDcAsT
“What's up, world? Welcome to Fashitsho The Podcast, the show where we dive deep into the good, the bad, and everything in between. I'm your host, Dj KoRnBrEd Tha Empress—and I’m ready to take you on a journey through all the things that shape our lives: music, fashion, love, friendships, the ups and downs of relationships, and the real talk about domestic abuse and healing. We’re here to celebrate the art of living, thriving, and learning. Whether you're a creative soul, a music lover, or just trying to navigate life, this space is for you. So, sit back, relax, and get ready for some real conversations with the culture’s pulse—because Fashitsho The Podcast starts now!”
FaShItShO tha PoDcAsT
Trust is earned, not given—even with those closest to you.
Fashitsho: The Podcast – EP 2: Fake Friends vs. Fake Family
In this thought-provoking episode of Fashitsho: The Podcast, we dive deep into the complex dynamics of relationships with fake friends and fake family members. Join us as we explore the subtle (and not-so-subtle) differences between these two types of toxic relationships and how they affect our mental health and personal growth. We discuss the signs to watch out for, the emotional toll they take, and how to set boundaries with individuals who are draining your energy. Whether it's betrayal, jealousy, or manipulation, this episode offers a raw and honest look at navigating these difficult relationships and reclaiming your peace of mind. Tune in for insightful conversations, personal stories, and practical advice on how to recognize and deal with fake friends and fake family members in your life.
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The Shit Show. The podcast starts now with DJ Kornbread, aka the Empress. Back with another one the Shit Show. The podcast is up again. Today we're going to be talking about fake friends and family, which is going to be titled Blood Versus Water, and today I have two of my guest homies in the building.
Speaker 2:What's up this? Your boy, Icy Mike.
Speaker 1:And I got my girl.
Speaker 3:Hey, what's up everybody, this your girl, Jay Renee.
Speaker 1:In the building and we're about to get on this topic about the fake friends and the family members, because I know this has been a big topic. A lot of people have had something to say about this and I've seen it a lot on social media, including TikTok and Instagram, and I actually have seen a little bit on Snapchat. So my first topic, first thing we're going to talk about today, is how do you guys spot a fake friend, and I guess, mike, we can start with you.
Speaker 2:How can you spot a fake friend? Well, that's I mean, well, as far as my experience, is a fake friend anybody that try to dress like you, try to do the same things you do. That's a red flag. You need to watch out for that. That's some fake friend stuff. To be honest with you, you know what I'm saying, because everybody should have their own, you know, doing their own thing, their own, you know. But yeah, yeah, yeah, you really should. That is that is like the number one thing. Somebody try to do the exact stuff you do. Yeah, that ain't I mean. Some people may think it's like a compliment, but it's not. It's not that much of a compliment I definitely agree.
Speaker 3:I know sometimes with fake friends, like they're're going to be around for what's going to benefit them, so like you won't hear them for nothing, that you want, like, if you like, oh well, hey, I'm doing this for my business or I'm doing this. You know I need your support for this. But the moment you post something about going out to a club event or something about giving away something and stuff like that, you kind of can pick up on who's really going to be there to support you or who's just there for the benefits.
Speaker 1:Facts yeah, I'm kind of like.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I'm thinking like fake friends, so kind of like what you said and what I'm on what mike said too.
Speaker 1:So like a person that I don't know if they kind of like following behind, doing everything that you do, but then, especially if they're in the background on some Now, when you ask them about certain stuff, now I don't think you should do that or now do it like this but then they turn around and backdoor and do the same thing that you was talking about or you asked them about, but they try to do it on the low, around people that you don't fuck with. So you don't know what's going on. And then I don't know what's going on and then, like you know, I don't know, I don't know fake friends, like I feel like some, some of them be doing they act like they gonna do one thing or they act like they for you, and then you have to find out through other friends that you thought were real friends that end up being fake friends. You know on what they motive is and what they really, what type of stuff they really on too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and then you know they also, I think sometimes I think we overlook this because we try to see the friendship. But some friends will be around, people that you don't associate yourself with, and certain things will get said with those people and then they want to come back and tell you you know certain things like, oh, girl, such and such, such and such, but it's like, okay, well, you know, I don't deal with them. So what did you say while you was with them that you coming back to tell me, because you had to have said something, that you were sitting in that circle exactly I want some shit like that.
Speaker 1:And then, like I'm gonna, I wanted to, like, I think I just want to throw this in there. So, like, do y'all feel like and I'm literally just throwing this in there. So like, do y'all feel like and I'm literally just throwing this in there Do y'all feel like, if you are friends with somebody and they're not friends, they don't like another person that you're friends with? Do you feel like you still should hang around the person that they don't like? And would you I don't know, I don't even know how to ask this Like, would you still hang around that person is one thing, but then would you tell them today, since you fuck with this person, would you tell them what the other person is saying or no, you're just like, I'm gonna see, I'm gonna fuck with you because I fuck with you, and even though she be talking shit or saying this about you, I'm not gonna tell you because I fuck with both of y'all I think it kind of depends, like, if it's something that's like real small and petty, like not really like a honest, like we just got a big misunderstanding type of thing.
Speaker 3:It can vary because, like, if someone just don't know you and that's why they acting like that, then you know there could be some changes there. It might not be something, but I know, like for me, like when I'm with certain people, uh, because sometimes you're not aware if people get along or not get along with their friends not friends, we don't always know everyone's situation.
Speaker 3:So, you know, if I'm with somebody and I know that they, you know, if it was you, for instance, and someone got something to say, you know I'm gonna be like, okay, well, look, I don't know what the situation is, but I don't, you know, just if I'm around, just don't say that you know, because it's gonna get back.
Speaker 3:So if you don't want her to know, it's gonna get back to her because I'm gonna let her know what's being said. And that's just because I owe my loyalty to who, I'm gonna owe it to, you know. So if I'm your best friend or your sister per se because that's what we like to use a lot when it's more than a friendship you know it's like she gonna find out, because you ain't about to sit here and make it seem like I'm sitting here going back and forth with you about her and trying to flip the script on me. So she's going to find out. Whatever you say, I'm going to let you know that now. So if you don't want her to know, because you could have incorrect information, so it can kind of vary you know, somebody just might have heard something, and so they judge an opinion off of what they heard.
Speaker 1:And it might not even be true.
Speaker 1:Exactly Okay Facts. I've been through that, so that's yeah, y'all both said some key points and good shit, because I'm like I'm on the same thing with both y'all. Well, yeah, it's just, I I don't, I don't know. You just got to kind of sit down on there because I don't been through so much. It's like, yeah, you had somebody thinking one thing and not knowing they won't tell the whole story too, so you can survive, you know. That's another thing.
Speaker 1:Going back to like the fake friends and stuff like that, like they are, oh yeah, I'm cool with her. This isn't it? I'm around you for this certain kind of reason. But then if something don't happen the way they want it to happen, or it don't go down how they thought it was gonna go down, because they was trying to do some slick shit, then they want to come back on there and I don't fuck, I ain't fucking with her, no more, because I couldn't get what I wanted out of her. So then I'm gonna go back over here to these people that used to fuck with her and they still fuck with her and let them know oh, she a fucked up person, she did this and that.
Speaker 1:Don't deal with her, don't talk to her whatever, because she did this not knowing that they're not telling you the whole story, or a majority of the time what they're saying is a lie.
Speaker 1:Or they probably done took some information and thought that's what happened or that's what it was. But really that's not really what happened, or it was a reason why certain stuff happened, because you don't know what that person was going through or what that person was told, because I done been through some stuff like that too, that I done told somebody and told me something. So I'm like, okay, well, let me tell everybody else this to try to get you know they trying to do this, let them know that they can do this, this could happen, and then, not knowing that the person that's on the back end that I told me to tell other people this stuff, they using me and they telling me some some fugazi stuff that's gonna make me look bad, because they in it to fuck up my character yeah, and I mean, and even even touching more on pushing it that way, like, and you know bread, I know you can definitely speak from experience because you know, I know how you are.
Speaker 3:But sometimes some people might think that you ain't a friend just because, um, it's a misunderstanding. Like you might not speak to somebody every day, you might not hear from somebody for a couple of weeks, couple months, and somebody might take that as, oh well, she acting weird, she acting funny because she doing this, isn and that where someone else is seeing the point of no, she need her space. It ain't that she acting weird or acting funny with nobody and she ain't, you know, thinking she better than nobody. You know she's doing what she gotta do, but she just maybe mentally taking a break from talking to too many people at one time. So it also can fall on a misunderstanding.
Speaker 3:But I still feel like that can push you into a fake friend zone because you, a real friend, gonna realize like she need her space, she need her time.
Speaker 3:It ain't that she being weird or funny, she just don't want to talk right now. You know where other people would be like, nah, she doing this because of such and such and such. Or she feels some type of way because now I'm doing this or something and it's like that ain't got nothing to do with it, some type of way because now I'm doing this or something and it's like that ain't got nothing to do with it. You know it may be a misunderstanding, but I feel like that still can push people into that fake friend zone. You know, because if you're my friend, you're going to understand off top. You know it's not going to be an assumption that I'm just not talking to you. You're going, you know, at least wait for some type of clarity between us before you just jump the gun and say you between us, before you just jump the gun and say you know, oh, I'm being weird or I'm being fake or whatever the case may be.
Speaker 2:I'm kind of with Jaz saying it's kind of the same with the family or the friends, but, like you said, you know, with family it's kind of hard to detect that, but I just know with my family, uh, from my experience it's direct, because my family is like this if you, if you doing better than them, then they want you to to to like help them out. They want you to keep giving them money. You know I'm saying to constantly help them. But my thing is, who's going to help the helper when the helper need help, like? Who, like how? You know what I'm saying and see they don't see that.
Speaker 2:So then, and then on top of that, they don't like it because the playing field ain't level. Usually, family want that playing field level. They want to be on the same level as whatever you want. If they down, guess what, they want your ass down too. If you up, they want to be up, or hell probably pass you. I mean I, I hate to say that, but family that's why you heard so many people talk about lord loyalty these days, like they value loyalty over family.
Speaker 3:You know I'm saying and yeah, it's, that's, that's my take on that, yeah, and I've definitely seen it on different like I can believe it with the females. Like there's some fact to that, I will say that. But I honestly feel like it does kind of tie back into our Zodiac session. If y'all did not, you know, get a chance to check it, definitely look back at our sneak and uncut bonus that we have. But I feel like zodiacs play a part of it too. Some zodiacs just hold on to stuff so it can play a lot of different things with that fake friend. Some signs are more understanding than others. You know, like she says she's a libra, she give after chance. I'm a Sagittarius and I know I give more chances than I probably ever should in life. But that's just how you are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's true. I mean it's a sad truth, but that's how it is.
Speaker 3:So I know, with the fake relative thing, it's somewhat similar to friends. I won't lie, it's somewhat similar to friends. I won't lie, it is somewhat similar to friends. Um, you won't always know, unfortunately, with the family member the difference, because they're still going to try to make themselves active in your life, um, but you'll still feel the resistance. Like for me, I'm a very color, aura type of person, energy, like all of that. So I can tell when you're just you know, honestly trying to love on me and I can also tell when you're really just trying to make it for everybody else, like it's kind of like a show, like you know, we cousins and everything else.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna play cool with you right now, but you're not gonna hear from me. I'm gonna tell you, call me for whatever you need. You know, lean on me and the moment someone do that, that's it. You know you don't get that when, when you're not around everybody, exactly it becomes something else. It's like when you're around, everybody is lean on me. When I lean on you, there's no response. There's no. Oh well, this isn't that.
Speaker 3:It's always like the whole we'll just pray about it, like that's kind of your response. With family, it's going to be something as simple as that. They're going to tell you well, you know, you kind of just got to pray about it and see what happened. You know they're not going to try to work something through with you. They're not going to try to. You know, touch bases with you. And that's just from personal experience. I have people that I've loved since I was younger, but I've noticed where to draw my lines with them. I've noticed that it hurt me more to speak on it with them than it did for me to just keep quiet and just keep the same facade they got with everybody else.
Speaker 2:Well see you got to stand too. You got to stand too. See, the reason why family ain't the way it used to be? Because you gotta stand. Big mama, them gone. You see, I'm saying they the one that was the glue. They, they was the glue that held basically the family together. So now, as you get older, you know I'm saying everybody kind of going their own ways. Now they got their own, like you said, their own families. They got their own situation, stuff like that. So, like I said, but big mama then was the glue.
Speaker 3:You know, I'm saying that's just what yeah, and people wonder why. I've seen that a lot, like a lot of people be like, damn, she's always with her friends, like we don't ever really just see her, and sometimes that be the situation. Sometimes it's just that their family has pushed them away so much with, you know, being funny or feeling like they can't be just completely honest, which is my family. You should feel that way. You should be honest, no matter what, whether it hurt me or not, you know, you should be honest. Um, and then they'd be like, well, you know, well, she always with her friends. Well, that's probably why she probably getting pushed away from family, probably didn't try so much with her family, so much that it's like, okay, well, that's where I don't know if y'all hear a lot of it, but I know I've said it a lot you know creating your own family and that's something that this generation does a lot, or you probably see more now, because family ain't the same, no more.
Speaker 3:It's sad to say that. It's very sad to say that, because you should always have your family, but sometimes your family is who you created with. You know, it's not gonna always be your blood, you know. So, like you said when you say, blood is thicker than water. You know, like me and cornbread, I've known cornbread literally 15 years now. You couldn't tell her blood apart because I'm always gonna be there. It's not gonna matter what she could call me in the middle of the night, and if I can move, I'm moving.
Speaker 2:You know, when there's some family that I probably couldn't say the same for, and that's just because they wouldn't do it for me and also, like I say, don't nobody have like family reunions, no more, like I haven't been the one in probably over 15 years yeah, and I had that come up.
Speaker 3:Yep, I've had that come up because, like, um, a few couple months back, like one side of my family, um, the younger people, cousins and stuff like that, people close to my age, you know they were hosting some type of event and they just happened to send it to me and then so I'm reaching out to everybody else, oh hey, are y'all going? And they was like, well, we didn't even know about it. And you know, and a lot of my cousins say the same thing. They're like well, you know, it's gonna be up to us to try to reconnect because the people that used to keep us together ain't here no more our uncles, grandfathers and stuff like that. Like, like, uh, max said they not here. So, you know, the people that used to keep us together the last time they caught, you know, kept us together, was at a funeral, unfortunately, you know. So it's like, okay, well, who's gonna step up and try to keep stuff together? You know, I just told my little brothers, you know, um, we're gonna have to start planning trips and doing something.
Speaker 3:I don't want us to lose, you know, what we have within each other, because everybody else is now doing their own thing you know and now we got, you know, nieces and nephews and cousins and stuff that they need to be around each other, because when we gone, who they gonna have, you know, and it's really gonna be up to us to keep it together if you can do that. Yeah, it's been a while since I've been to a family and no, I mean, and nowadays, now you you'll catch a lot more line dancing, which I'm grateful that our generation has picked up with stuff like that. You know, like picking up on like that trail riding scene. People think it's a joke, but I've actually went out. It's really a beautiful thing that you see more Black people doing now, which is really nice. There's going to be drama somewhere somehow, sometimes all the time, but for the most part it's a collective people, like a collective group out just enjoying themselves and they're out line dancing and Zyko and partner dancing. So now there's so much more that you can have at a party. It ain't always twerking, now, it's who can. Who can get out here instead, let's see that, you know, and there's nothing wrong with it, you know it's it's. It's a lot more fun to do that. So it sucks when people sit here and assume that you know, oh, she ain't gonna have none of the people that are twerking. No, and half the parties I've been to with you, I know you you'll throw some live music on real quick, you know, and people will get up and dance. Whether you know it can be a success, you know or not. You know I still feel like you still should get that support, but that's why they're not going to do to do that or it's not gonna turn out the way you think it's gonna turn out. Like it becomes such a negative Nancy situation that it's like you know you can support, whether you think I'm gonna succeed or not. Okay, you know, but it's still like you can support somehow. But I do know firsthand like there's certain family members that won't do it because they're like, oh, your crowd is gonna be a type of crowd that I don't want to be involved with because I know you're gay. You know not to say that I have a problem with you, which low key you still are. But you know, I just know that you know that's probably the crowd you're going to have around. That's not my type of crowd, so I'm not going to be involved.
Speaker 3:Sometimes that's the you know, when you sit here and say that stuff. You know, when you sit here and say that you know someone, uh, they don't ask you to post something or something or they're hesitant to do it. It's because you probably didn't ask them to do something. And then they mind it comes across like damn, she asked me to do this but I never did it. You know, I don't know if I really want to send this to her, because what if she'd be like no, I can't do this for you? It's that guilt that be hitting them last minute, because they'll be like they'd be like shit. You know, I want to ask her to do it. I really want her to promote it because I know she got the platform. Again, it benefits them. So it's like shit. I really want her to post it, but at the same time she asked me to do something. I didn't do it. So is she going to support me? You know, know.
Speaker 3:So it's like, again, it all runs back to that. When it benefits you, it's okay. When it benefits what you want or what you see, like he said, you know it's like you got you all for it, but the moment it don't benefit you or you can't see nothing out of it, it's it don't work for you. You know, I know just from my promotion days doing stuff I would be promoting day in, day out. I don't care, anybody that's ever worked with me, anybody that's ever just supported me, y'all know I would work my ass off to promote anything, and then sometimes my buildup or the people that came didn't come until they started seeing the live videos.
Speaker 3:And that was something I used to hate, Because it's like, if you're going to show up, show up. Don't ask me who in the club, don't ask me who already here, don't ask me who in the section. Like, if you're going to come, come, because at some point I used to put my phone on D&D you either going to pull up or you're not. I'm not telling them that you free If you're not already on the list that I got created, cause little do you know. I'll, I'll, I'll look out for you already If you already let me know ahead of time what's going to be. What you know, only you know just because you there for me, just because you already showed your support, even though you didn't know what was going to happen.
Speaker 3:But that was something I used to hate, cause it was always oh well, what's it looking like Come find out. Don't ask me, just pull up. Like it'll look better with you in here. How about that? Like, come on, what you want me to say, even if it's already popping, it's like what do you want me to say about that? Like it's already set up, so just show up, you know, show your support. If you're going to show your support, like, let it be an undying and an unquestionable thing.
Speaker 3:Um, I have a kind of open mind with monitoring spirits only because I feel like you can have a good one and a bad one, or good ones and bad ones. And I say that because there really are some people who monitor things that you're doing but give you positive intel or give you positive feedback or will tell you okay, now, look, you do this, this, what you're looking at. You know, I understand that you might be thinking like this, but you know, look at this, this and that, and even though, um, it might not seem like they're being positive to you at that moment, I've had a lot of conversations with friends and family that at the time, I'm so set on whatever. I'm telling them that it's like yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm not even going to hear it. And some things I've had to learn. And what they told me, you know, really came to with that situation. So, even though they were monitoring what I was doing, it wasn't to hurt me, it was to help me. You know, really came to with that situation. So, even though they were monitoring what I was doing, it wasn't to hurt me, it was to help me. You know they weren't trying to tell me this because it wasn't that I wouldn't be successful or something like that, or that they felt like it just wasn't the best thing for me to do. They would just lay it out there like, okay, well, you do this. These are what you know. This is is what can follow with that.
Speaker 3:And then there are the ones that are negative, no matter what, like, like you said, they're gonna be there for you and everything else, but they back door telling somebody girl, she thinks she can do this because of this, isn't it? Or I don't know why. You know she feel like just because a couple people told her she was good at doing this and she feel like she can do this. And now, now she about to go do this. And then here you go with speaking on people's blessings and people don't realize you block so much by speaking.
Speaker 3:I literally had to learn that, like last year was that year I don't know how many people did not say that, but last year was that year that so many people spoke on so much stuff and even just sitting back and looking at it, you like, well, damn, damn, let me shut up like sometimes you got to tell yourself, shut up because this. You got to tell yourself to shut up because even though you feel like that person is gonna support you, they gonna hold you down, they gonna whatever. You sit there and you're telling them this and you speaking, you know, and it's like, wait a minute, why is everything going like this now? Why is everything? Because they don't want you there. They're going to tell you they want you there, but that spirit around them don't want you there. You know. So sometimes you that last year was that year of shutting the fuck up.
Speaker 3:I don't know about nobody else, but for me it was, you know, because I had to realize everything don't need to be talked about. You know part of that. I'm sitting here thinking like is it? Because it's like you know you're gonna have family that's not gonna show support. But you also know you got, but they're not really your friends. Your real friends gonna support no matter what.
Speaker 3:Like you said, even if it's sharing something they can't make it, at least share it, post it. You know something like that, speak about it. Hell even send you some people like, hey, I might not be able to do nothing, but these people might be some good you know prospects for whatever you got going on or something. Yeah, now, if you was to say between a stranger in the streets and family and friends, I would have went with family and friends. They're not gonna show me nothing. I can go outside and tell somebody real quick like, hey, I'm selling plates or I got, you know, a flyer, I'm doing this, this and that and that and a lot of people.
Speaker 3:I've gotten more, more support from people that I've never known a day in my life, like you said, just by showing them a couple of pictures, and that's how I've gotten to know certain people you know that have purchased or who have shared stuff or who have you know, word of mouth, giving it to somebody else, you know, because they might not be involved, but they know somebody else that is is looking for it or needs something in that area. Um, and the streets will show you more love than than your friends or family, sometimes just people that you meet just off the bat and don't know nothing about, and because my parents have money. So so quote, unquote what they say, that I was going to be OK because it could be replaced, and it's like, ok, my parents' money ain't my money, their reputation ain't my reputation, like everything I have, you know, just because my parents are who they are, yeah, that's true, and you know I could, but, at the same time, me being me, I'm not. So it's like I do feel like a lot of people, um, do kind of do things because they feel like, oh well, she got a silver spoon, because you know, her mom and daddy got money. They always doing this, they got this, they got that, and it'd be like, in my eyes, it's like that's what y'all see looking in, but that don't mean that that's exactly how it is, you know. So, I think, who your parents are, can parents, even some family I have cousins and stuff that you know do a lot of different things and it can weigh on people thinking that you got it different, or make them feel a different way, envious more so towards you because they just assume that you got it as good as they got it and that's not. I don't think nine times out of ten in the case that's not ever the case, because you still got to be your own person within your family and stuff. Sometimes you got it harder because of the people that you have in your family. It shouldn't even be a competition.
Speaker 3:I hate that people automatically make something such a competition in their head and it's like it ain't even gotta be like that. You know, like I, I used to sit here and tell um some of my friends that do certain things. They used to be uh kind of discouraged about doing stuff. I'm like look at stores, like the most simplest thing, bread. There are like 30, 40 different types of people that have their own type of bread, but bread is still bread at the end of the day, you know.
Speaker 3:So it's like why would you give up because they're telling you that there's so many people around here doing this, or because your family is saying, oh well, you know this isn't. This person is already doing that. Why would you do it? It's like there's still you, there's still room to do it, and that all still goes back to that fake friend, fake family thing, because it's like support and encourage, no matter what. I don't care if you see somebody who then you know, did this before. Yeah, there's a lot of people that have done something. They're still doing something that a lot of people are doing and they're still successful, because who they reach ain't always who some people reach, and sometimes what they have may be better than the other, and you'll never know until you show that support to see where that person can get or where they may be either.
Speaker 3:So I think that all kind of fall back into the influential thing too, because just because they think your family got money, they might think that your family, whoever got the money in your family, is automatically supporting you, and they might not even know nothing about what you're doing or don't even want to be involved in what you're doing because it ain't their money. So they might not even touch it or say nothing. So you're thinking that, okay, well, she got people that can do it for her, so we ain't got to do nothing and vice versa, or turn around, it ain't even like that. They got it but they ain't even involved. And where you could be involved would mean more to me, because I already know these people who got this ain't gonna do it. Your family, at the end of the day, should be as supportive as you need them to be, and they they're not, not, not fully.
